My views on the virtual world and natural living, all that matters to me in life and love

June 11 2018
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” 
― Henry David Thoreau
Owl flying backwindow Avalon 06-2017

Internet…. a blessing or a curse?

I’ve explored a few virtual communities with members that followed a philosophy with the leader as a captain, living in his luxurious chambers on the virtual ship, with servants and slaves at the galleys, a crew following orders …. or else. But oh…what green pastures were waiting them…. over the horizon! Made it all worth it, or…. does it? What if it’s just a fata morgana? A mirage? Look, here’s one of my first videos on this subject:

I’ve found that members of virtual communities are often in a bad place to begin with, grappling for meaning in their life and trying to find a way out of what seems to be boredom or a lack of direction in life. Or housebound in depression or with phobia.

Each time I encountered evidence of it, by virtual “friends” revealing their state of mental health and way of living to me, confidentially, by email, I fell from my chair in this game of “keeping up appearances” with more or less weird acting people in company of a persona, making up for the lack of a functional personality in the reality of daily life affairs.

And after the infiltration  of paid agents that try to create confusion and division within these communities, I’ve decided to leave those communities and fora and not be bothered by engaging in it anymore. Not my cup of tea,  I’m far more happy while sitting in a hollow tree or in the river with a shoal of tiny trouts nibbling at my ankles and a stone slab to sit on. The stone and my body both warmed up by the sun, while looking at the liveliness of a weir. Snug in the company of nature.

Hollow tree 04-2017

Isn’t the safety of an imagined world, presented by a screen in front of our face, often more welcome than placing oneself in the hustle and bustle of life and creating a life to one’s own liking, according one’s own imagination and creativity? How dare we to feel loved and move through life while loving others, present in body and spirit, alive? Without punishment and judgement in mind, to me it seems to be a law of life that cleaning up behind us is a must when we want a change and live that change.             

This may sound like a fairy tale to you, but I’ve learned in my life journey that I can’t enter a new realm of existence, embodying it and make it my own, with mud on my shoes that belongs to the one I leave behind.

While trying to figure out how to make it work, life I mean, our reality shows up with what we don’t desire and wish for on tv and internet. With growing evidence it’s shared online. Which is part of the blessing that it holds.  Amidst the trolling and old paradigms crumbling in front of our mind’s eye.

That in itself is a cause for anxiety in many who are beginning to wake up from the bad dream that we’ve created in our 3D world. Nobody is the source of my unhappiness, unless my instinctual reaction shouts and screams that that’s the case. To me, it’s become more and more a matter of choice, if that reaction rules me or not. Choosing my actions, instead of going on instinct and show my horns, throw snowballs, or wag my stinging tail.


images (3)

You may know of the changes happening in our entire Solar System,  conditions of atmosphere and weather, the elements present on planets, even organic material is found on Mars, lately. I’ve got a hunch that we’re fed chunks of information that in its entire body of content is known for a long time, to a shadow government. Scientists and spiritual explorers and teachers begin to build bridges, finding evidence of sharing the same truths, put in different words.

The Solar Storms directed at planet Earth affect the way we experience our mood and the function of our physical, mental and emotional body. Scientific proof is now undeniable and the reports on the nature of dark matter show us that we need to think again, about how the Universe came into existence.

Below is the first part of an education series, about how the topic of Climate Change has arrived on the global stage:

As an addition to the video, here’s a document called “Weather as a Force Multiplier:
Owning the Weather in 2025″ about weaponizing global weather:

“In the beginning there was nothing and than it exploded”. These are not my own words, a once upon a past forum owner used that line as signature in his comments.

Many of us, without a doubt, may try to explain the sensations, that are caused by the impact of Earth directed Solar Flares, by following the tracks of familiar reasoning, within the box. In an increasing polarisation of forces that are ruling our world, for the time being, we’re waking up to ourselves as I perceive it.  Nudged, or pushed hard, toward the dawn of an awakening. The dawning of the freedom of choice, letting go of the shackles of old programs and indoctrination that created a veil over our eyes.

To see the truth for the first time can be painful and bewildering and yet, to me there is no other way, when I choose growth in my life and making good use of my skills. We can’t live a lie unless we become part of a lie that holds us imprisoned, stripped of our human nature, with a closed heart. The choice is ours, always. Each of us has to make that choice in free will, with a heart that is warmed to an affinity with oneself.          When we say “yes” to life, life responds, showing up with a “yes” for us. 


Dragon-fish fire-water element                            OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Either we end up as slaves, robotic in function, or we choose to create our reality by paying attention to signs, to our inner voice, or the voice of truthful messengers and children who enter this world while wide awake from the start. Some of us are looking for road-signs to a life in freedom. Some of us feel like the horse increasing its speed while smelling the stable. That’s an old Dutch expression by the way.

We’re going HOME by creating our own heaven on our own earth, I believe. I see us as the changers and the changed both, which makes us feel as if stepping into uncharted territory. Or hanging in mid-air between two steps, leaving the matrix, refusing the red and blue pill and manifesting our own reality and state of being. 

I think our inner compass is key and anchor both, in following our dream and not those of others. Our journey on life’s ocean is infinite, there’s always a new choice to make. And there’s time, for whatever you choose to create, figuring out what works for you …..  which may be entirely different from how it works for me, creation shows us an infinite variety of forms and in a similar fashion we’re given a choice to create something new, each moment of our life’s journey, to our heart’s desire, entirely in sync with our soul purpose, while serving life and love in the companionship of wisdom.


Make it your choice Febr. 2018

Make it your choice to live through the changes and move with them, like the practice of tai ch’i and take practical, emotional and mental steps. Excersize for strength, like condition training. It’s far easier to be responsible for yourself when you make everything you do a choice. Yours. You will be surprised how much change for the better shows up in your life, that way. That’s what I call an inner pole-shift. From submission to self-empowerment in manifestation. We will all look in wonder at what’s ahead of us, when we accept life as a gift and celebration. For what we visualise and envision will show up as our reality. Be it for better or for worse.

That is a choice and not your fate, you see? Once we’ve come to know what our problem is, the solution is present right next to it. We’ve got to wean off of indoctrination of parents, schoolteachers and church institutes that are man-made. Our parents tried their best, no doubt, but there are deeply buried issues at play often, within family constellations, with patterns repeating, a continuation of suffering… for that may be all we know, before we discern our core issues, our imprints and soul-purpose.

Choose for yourself, someone else can’t do it for you. Unless you lose your sovereignty. Examples of that state of being are numerous in our present time. We need to wean ourselves off that old paradigm of ruling power and money, the greediness in consumer-lifestyle. There’s much more to life than what meets the eye. Planet Earth has moved into another realm already, happy to see us following her in her wise moves. Changes may cause anxiety, but let it not determine your choices please.

In the context of a transition to a new reality, a new way of living if you will, the freedom of choice and respect for the free will is possible when moral standards and ethics are serving life and well-being of all. FREE will is what one could take literally as FREEDOM of expression and not a boundless selfish lifestyle. As I perceive it, the latter is an expression of imprisonment by one’s own addiction or system that overrules one’s individual sovereignty.

To me, hating the devil is serving the devil, for hatred feeds on hatred. It knows no other way. When God and the Devil are viewed as beings separate from us, human beings, we’re using them as projection screen and blame them for all the suffering in our lives. That’s the essence of giving your power away and it’s a mind-program created by religious church institutes of all shades between black and white, enforcing submission to God or the Devil.

For some people the roles of God and Devil have switched and not always intentionally. Many lives are lived in self-hatred due to misunderstanding, confusion, fatigue and loneliness. That’s not our fate or destiny and certainly nothing of the future is written in stone. No authority outside of us can and has the right to prescribe the path to our destiny, for we’re meant to choose that from within as human beings, each in its unique expression, authentic.

Acknowledging the godlike and devilish sides within ourselves creates a rift through that mind-programming and in that process we arrive at the door of choice. In freedom, after experiencing a long long time living in duality consciousness, labelling. Separation. It’s this… or that. What if it’s both? When we can finally stand it to acknowledge both sides of one hand, we fall through the bottom, witnessing the illusion of it all.

Inclusiveness as respect for all expressions of life and compassion aren’t the same as condoning actions and results of free will expressions. Nor is it helpful to judge oneself for the wrong doing in our lives. Once we’ve found the ability to observe ourselves and come to know ourselves more and once we’ve welcomed truth as a friend, in our lives, we’re re-educating ourselves and move toward the graduation of humanity, removing the veil. Those qualities are an important part in finding discernment, realising love. 


For those of you interested in the solar weather-forecast and space-weather in general, plus an earthquake watch, solar activity watch and more, here’s a wealth of information, reports and videos, also with presentations by scientists and explorers of the electric universe:                                                               




How do we create our reality in life’s name?
Think about it, ponder this for a while:
When I begin to notice that an instinctual reaction pushes me in the direction of acting it out, with the help of my mind in turmoil, I stop and observe this inner acrobatics, this wild trapeze flying without a safety net. In that moment, coming to full stop, I am separating my feelings from my choice of action.
The great benefit from doing this, is that I’m breaking the spell of repetition, the dramatic roller-coaster of being upset, angry, rebellious and…. at the same time breaking the spell of projecting it on others, causing others to feel offended and move into resistance, with me on the other side of the screen, the phone or in person with them,  ignoring my choice to make an effort and find a solution to the problem. Breaking that spell, I return to a state of lucidity and ease in myself and restore a workable communication with myself and than with others, leaving all who are involved, with a sense of acknowledgment and completion.
Think about it, ponder this for a while: How many Trojan horses are introduced to complicate human life on planet Earth? Toward what goal? Who’s profiting? Conditions that initially were created for the benefit of humanity’s consciousness, while living in a survival mode? With these same conditions continued, when the survival mode was over, creating a paradigm that isn’t recognized as a mind-program due to co-creation and false proof of its validity? The deeply ingrained submission to an external authority?
I believe that the collective veil placed over humanity’s eyes, originates from the veil that humanity received as a cure to suffering, welcomed and placed on its eyes, in acceptance of living conditions that show up in these famous pairs: past and present, good and bad, dark and light, joy and sadness. I may be wrong and the other way around is the true story: a placing of a veil in order to create ignorance of humanity’s transformational and thus…. powerful nature. It seems to be a dilemma, somewhat akin to the question “What comes first, the egg or the chicken?
Possibly there may be some sort of “tossing in the air” of cause and effect, mixing them up deliberately, for example in rewriting history and changing it at the same time, while seeing an opportunity, a chance to confuse and obscure the power of creation within each human being. As long as that source isn’t tapped into, control is accepted as legitimate, due to not being recognized as such.

This text is close to my heart, it’s in the simplicity and silence, I think, that we can find enduring peace of mind and heart: Ken Carey’s transmissions of wisdom Starseed: 

The Third Millenium:

(quote) “There is but the finest veil between you and a full-dimensional perception of reality, the filmiest of screens between you and your eternal self. You require no elaborate technique or ritual to release this veil. You need only open to the organic current of awareness that in every moment flows to you from the source of life” (end of quote)

The actions and manifestations that we so deeply long for and expect to see present in our world, the fulfillment of love and feeling connected, in a relationship, belonging to a caring family or community, are often desperate notes, prayers and commands that leave our mouths in vain, in screams and whispers, without finding true fulfillment and lasting peace. We can sublimate painful issues and invent a pretense of “happy”. 
For a very long time, I feel we’ve ignored the tool inside that awaits us to be acknowledged and used and that’s the tool of  self-reflection and mastery of the senses, our becoming masters in the centre of our lives, captains on the boat in our life’s ocean and surrender  to the freedom of our expressions, which includes our healing within.
To me, it’s the secret/sacred space in the heart that holds love in the centre as the ruling force of creation, accompanied by wisdom, discernment and all qualities our soul holds inside. Maybe most of all: a down-to-earth sense of humour and a playful creative spark. No inhibition that prevents spontaneity. Spoke this Capricorn woman, who loves to run with wolves. “Women who run with wolves” is a book written by Clarissa. P. Estes. 

Woman with wolf



“Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change”.

Robert F. Kennedy1966 speech

I now quote from the book “Spell of the Sensuous”  and will introduce you to the writer David Abram, who inspired me to become more connected to my physical body and senses. I can fully relate to his view on the senses:

“David Abram is a sleight of hand magician who studied with shamans and indigenous magicians in Indonesia, Nepal and the Americas”.

On the backcover of the book, he writes:

“For a thousand generations, human beings viewed themselves as part of the wider community of nature and they carried on active relationships not only with other people, but with other animals, plants, and natural objects including mountains, rivers, winds and weather patterns, that we have only lately come to think of as “inanimate”. How then, did humans come to sever their ancient reciprocity with the natural world?” What will it take for us to recover a sustaining relation with the breathing Earth?”

And on page 186 he gives us the words of Hehaka Sapa, or Black Elk  of the Oglala Sioux: “Everything the Power of the World does, is done in a circle…… The Wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nests in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. The moon does the same and both are round…. Even the seasons from a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood and so it is in everything where powers moves…….”

I find Black Elk’s words awesome, it’s visible in life as my eyes witness it and it speaks directly to my heart! Below is my illustration of such a circle. Or rather cycle:

Illustratie 13 Gal.Tonen Marian van der Veen

The seeds falling to planet Earth, in the last illustration, this cycle of 13, may inspire you to 2 questions “How many seeds are in the apple?” and “How many apples are in a seed?”